Week 52.142857142
July 26, 2009
Some of the earliest writing advice I ever received was this – if you are going to write unflattering things about a person, make sure you mention that he has a small penis.
And if the person is a female? No answer, because who would think to say unflattering things about a fellow woman warrior against the patriarchal society?
Apparently I would.
My most recent book was supposed to be about how silly I am in the world. I told lots of unflattering things about myself. I am bad with securing money in the household, see week 8. Although there is money found easily at my house, I might also mention my house is surrounded by big dogs that bite.
I am often a pain in the … see week 4. I freely hand out 800 mg of ibuprofen at the house.
I also have a need to be right about the most ridiculous things, see week 47. Luckily with the internet, I can usually prove my point quickly … or not.
I am vain, seek week 3, week 13 and week 22. But I am also cheap, see week 39, so I’m not doing much about it.
I’m a party-pooper and sitck-in-the-mud, see week 23. Every party needs one, at least that’s my mantra when someone points out my proclivity for early bedtimes and quiet, peaceful places.
I pass people in traffic who are patiently waitng their turn, see week 7. I also got a ticket recently so rest assured all of you sitting patiently for your trun to merge, there is traffic karma.
And I wrote a whole book about myself, so obviously I’m rather self-absorbed. So self-absorbed in fact, that when I used people in my life to tell my stories, I never considered that they might consider the portrayal of them as anything but flattering. At the very least, I figured the stories showed they were better people than me.
Some other writing advice I’ve heard is that everyone has a right to tell his or her story and that is what writing a memoir is about. But I chose to write about myself and my foibles because that happens to be what I’m an expert on – write what you know, don’t you know.
So what to do when you mention a friend who doesn’t keep a a clean house, or a boss who had a hysterectomy? Apparently beg forgiveness because writing about a major surgery to remove female organs, I have learned, does not work like mentioning a man’s small penis.
This week I will keep the people I love and admire out of my writing, unless they play a major role in a very funny story…oh-oh!
Comments Off