Unexpected Jaguar Features
August 23, 2009
The really cool thing about a new car, is getting to know the car. Playing with all the knobs and handles and buttons to see what they do.The jag has some cool features, like a memory button for my preferred seating arrangement. I push a button and the seat adjusts back to my saved settings automatically. There’s also a button I can push which tells me how many miles I can go before I have to call AAA to let them know I ran out of gas.
The unexpected feature is the accident magnet the car comes with. Everyone and their neighbor tried to run into me this week.
On Monday I drove the jag to Orange County. There were four, yes, I counted, questionable lane changes right in front of me. Each time I yelled, “Whoa, take it easy!” while using the brakes judiciously so the car behind me didn’t ram me but I still had enough space to cushon the blow I was sure was about to happen. Luckily none of them did.
Then when I got to the parking garage, a car backed up toward me even though I was tooting, yes – tooting – it was the Orange County Jail Parking garage and you never know who may be backing up into you so you toot, you don’t honk, never honk, trust me – the horn. Finally I parked.
When I was leaving the parking garage, another two cars decided to back up into me. I began to think that invisibility was one of the jag’s features. Or perhaps the horn could only be heard by me? I wasn’t sure, but I keep tooting, even backing up a bit myself.
On my way onto the freeway a nice looking work truck towing a trailer carrying a nice looking corvette decided it had way more speed than I would ever have in a jag, pulled in front of me twice, both while I was atttempting to accerelate around the truck-and-trailer-with-corvette train.
Once I got back to my home town, another nice looking car decided to change lanes into me, even though I was there, tooting away. (In my hometown… yes, you still toot!)
I went into the pool supply store and the owner commented on what a great car I was driving. He knew more about the features than me.
“Have you tried the Sports setting for acceleration?”
“No.” I must have looked a bit dismayed.
“You do like the car?”
I stared at him.
“It’s a great car.”
Finally, I broke down. “I’m exhausted. It seems everyone wants to run into me.”
“Oh, that’s the accident magnet. Everyone sees a jag and begins to drive crazy around you. They figure you must have great insurance. Be careful.”
On my way home, I took side streets and kept my hand on the horn.
This week I will remember that usually you get more than you bargain for…
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