Diane Mierzwik

September 20, 2009

I have a bit of an upset stomach. It started about an hour after I got home from grocery shopping. But, I get ahead of myself. Let me start at the beginning.

I awoke with a stomach ache. Well, stomach ache is putting it a bit severely. I was hungry.

You may be thinking, most people wake up hungry – but do most people wake up hunger with no food in their house?

I do.

As the mother-wife-female, grocery shopping does generally fall into my sphere of influence. I am a feminist so there have been times when my husband took over these duties. We fondly remember these weeks as the Coors Light and cereal weeks. I asked my not-so-sober, cereal-eating husband to stick to mowing the lawn and I would do the grocery shopping.

This morning, there was Coors Light in the fridge, along with frosty flakes in the cupboard, but not much else.

I brewed the last of the coffee grounds accepting my fate; it was grocery shopping day.

Finally, at 2 pm, I mustered the strength and wherewithal to go out and brave the supermarket on a Sunday afternoon, hungry.

My mother was never one to allow us to eat cookies in the store to keep us quiet while she shopped. As a matter of fact, my mother never bought cookies. Just Saltines which can taste sweet if you stick a bunch in your mouth, chew until they are gooey and don’t swallow them for about a minute.

So, as any traumatized child in an adult body would do, I started in the cookie aisle, ripped open a package and began munching away. With cookie crumbs at the corners of my mouth, I leisurely strolled up and down each and every aisle choosing things that appealed to my hunger.

Avocados were on sale. As soon as I got home, I dug into a bag of chocolate Chex mix. Oh, I had plans of making guacamole, but I also have priorities.

After eating taquitos with fresh guacamole, I treated myself to some dessert, my favorite, chocolate chip cookie dough, uncooked please, then drank a soda.

Now, I know the rules, don’t go grocery shopping while hungry. I suppose I could have stopped off at Starbucks before grocery shoppoing and had a muffin, but really, I’m also on a budget so Starbucks was an unnecessary expense.

You might be thinking you read that article too, and remember the next bit of advice …Nibble on carrots before the feast so you don’t show up famished. I bought some apples and grapes, but I already had this chocolate taste in my mouth and carmel covered apples are good and well, but chocolate and apples … really, why ruin some good chocolate stuck in the back molars with a fresh bite of apple?

That article also suggested not keeping unhealthy food in the house.

And that brings us back to my upset stomach. I’m trying to get rid of all those cookies and chocolate chex mix. I was successful with the guacamole, by Jove! I’m hoping to start tomorrow with only healthy foods in the house so I’m eating all the unhealthy ones tonight.

Sure, I may not feel too great right now, but tomorrow when I go grocery shopping for healthy foods, I’m sure I’ll feel much better.

This week I will put hunger in its place with some cookies, cookie dough and chocolate Chex mix!