Lessons of 2011

January 1, 2012

Instead of looking forward toward what is in front of me, Ive decided to look behind and figure out what I’ve learned, even though that didn’t work out so well for Lot’s wife. Oh well, a little extra salt never hurt anyone, maybe made you a bit thirsty, but whatever.

So, here are my top 3  lessons from 2011.

Lesson #1. I learned how to put on lip liner. Yes, I am at that age when my lips are getting thinner and loosing their luster, yet, I am not interested in having permanent Halloween wax lips.

Instead, I consulted the woman with the most perfect lips I know, Katie. And she was generous enough back in April to allow me to write down the manufacturer and color of her magic wand, and voila, I now have lips again, well, when I apply them, and sure, sometimes they’re a bit uneven. I may have learned how to apply lip liner, but I have not perfected the application yet. As usual, I am a work in progress.

Lesson #2. You gotta make room for the new. I am not a hoarder, so when it is time for something new in my life, I make room for it. Unfortunately, sometimes the universe knows I’m ready even when I don’t. This year was a mix of endings and beginnings. My beloved canary, Notforlong, died in September. I didn’t realize how much that little yellow burst of song affected my life, until it was gone. I walked by his cage daily, looked up to say hello, and he wasn’t there… Then after an appropriate grieving period, I added two new birds to the family. They still don’t have names. Bill suggested Thelma and Louise. Wes likes Harold and Kumar. I was thinking more along the lines of Yoda and Buddha. I suppose we are following the cultural tradition of letting thier names be revealed to us. In any case, their names don’t matter. What matters is the beautiful song they have brought to the house.

And that has been the case for me with other beginnings and endings. So many people have moved out of my life because of a major change in my career situation, and I sorely miss interacting daily with them. Yet, so many surprises have been found in the new people in my life. I am glad there is room in my life for each in their place and time.

Lesson #3. People never cease to surprise me. I am a firm believer that I will encounter in my life the energy I put into the world, so it has been with much consternation that I have been disappointed by the negativity I’ve encountered in the last few years, and I spent time wondering how exactly I was manifesting this energy.

Then, right before Christmas, I was putting gift bags together for my students. My son walked through the room and asked me why I would be making gift bags. “They won’t appreciate them,” he told me, and a part of me agreed. Then my husband piped in, “Some of them will.” I believed both of them were right. I also believed that in either case, I had to make gift bags for them whether they appreciated them or not, because that was my energy.

Then, on the last day before vacation, I handed out gift bags, even to those students who had been admonished during class for being off-task or rude or defiant. I surrounded myself in positive energy, telling myself that I would focus on the kids who appreciated the effort I had made and ignore all the rest, those I was convinced would throw the bag on the floor, break the pencil, break the eraser and complain about the candy.

Instead, every kid was appreciative. ”Thanks Ms. M. I need a pencil,” I heard over and over and it was probably the best Christmas gift I’ve had in a long time – a reminder that people are always about to surprise me with kindness.

I have learned many other lessons this year. These are just the highlights. Someone famous once said, experience is the greatest teacher. I just want to add, it is also the culprit of my deepening wrinkles, frown lines and, most importantly, laugh lines.

This week I will look forward to the lessons ahead in 2012.