Though I think the jury is still out on which came first, the chicken or the egg, I do believe…
in creating my reality…
in The Secret!
So my secret is that I apply extra concealer on my nose, the tip of my nose, the tip of my nose that is turning, you guessed it – brown.
Technically, it’s turning blue, as in a varicose vein is slowing making its way from below the layers of fat that used to be there, and closer and closer to air since as I age my skin is getting thinner and thinner.
It’s a real thing – I looked it up.
So my nose it getting brown.
And it’s not like I’ve ever been against brown nosing.
I’ve made it this far by being nice to others.
That fourth grade teacher who thought I was being a bully until I explained I felt “left out” and got all the sympathy.
That boss who repeated my idea and took the credit for it while I remained quiet, even congratulating her on her great idea.
That lady at the store who cut in line in front of me – okay, so I’m not so good at these situations.
I’m a teacher for dog’s sake.
I encourage teacher’s pets. I have a whole week’s worth of lessons – common core aligned lessons – on the benefits of being the teacher’s pet. (I don’t call it “brown nosing” because inevitably one of my charges will ask “Why do they call it…?” and I have a hard time not telling the truth, then I get a phone call from an irate parent wondering why I am talking about kissing butt in my class and all my explanations about the history of idioms get me “nowhere” and “now here” – in the principal’s office, where I totally practice what I preach but the irony of the situation is usually only funny to me and inevitably the principal asks, “Do you have something on your nose?” To which I have to respond, “Actually, not really, it’s inside my nose. It’s a vein.” I’m assuming you get the point.)
I’ve raised Cherub to be a brown noser. Especially when he needs money for pizza. “Who’s the best mom in the world?”
“You attract more flies with honey,” is what my mother-in-law always tells us, after she tells us to “kill them with kindness.”
Not sure I want flies and to date, no one I’ve tried killing with kindness has actually passed on – from my life. They instead tend to stick around, which is the opposite of what I wanted. Still, it runs in our blood.
Hubby is a pro at telling me, “Yes, Dear.” (Then doing what he wants he made me to add for the record. Yeah, right!)
So, it’s no wonder that my nose is getting darker and darker with each passing day.
And the foundation I put on, tends to wear off as the day wears on. I’m not sure why.
It might be because of where I’m constantly sticking my nose.
This week I will hope for thicker skin, at least on my nose.